Monday, October 27, 2008

2nd Trimester

begins today. Today marks my 14th week putting me in to the second trimester. I made it without one ounce of nausea. My only complaints is I am itchy from head to toe. Its not out of control but it bothers mostly at night when I am relaxing and my feet, hands legs and chest itch like crazy making it hard to relax.

I hve been fighting this cold for a few weeks now. I am not sick yet, Only at night and early morning do I have a sore throat and stuffy but I can tell its getting worse. I really do not want a cold since I cant take sudafed or anything to relieve the iciness.

Thought I would paste this in about this weeks accomplishments. Your baby can now squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his thumb. Thanks to brain impulses, his facial muscles are getting a workout as his tiny features form one expression after another. His kidneys are producing urine, which he releases into the amniotic fluid around him — a process he'll keep up until birth. He can grasp, too, and if you're having an ultrasound now, you may even catch him sucking his thumb. In other news: Your baby's stretching out. From head to bottom, he measures 3 1/2 inches — about the size of a lemon — and he weighs 1 1/2 ounces.

I made my appointment with a ultrasound place so I can find out what we are having. I cannot wait. I have not been able to shop, paint the room or pick out the crib or bedding without knowing what this baby is. The date is NOVEMBER 15th and My parents, grandparents, his parents, his brother and his girlfriend are all coming. I'm anxious I hope the next two weeks speed bye.

I have been so busy lately with school. This week is my last all day Saturday class, so that will free up alot of time. Wednesday is my OB appointment, I don't think much will happen at that appointment. I think its time for me to start getting 2nd trimester tests. I know there are a few I am going to refuse because we had all the chromisone testing plus even if they came back saying something was wrong with the baby it wouldn't matter. It's our baby and God will only give us what we can handle.

Ok last blog I said I would share what was something that freaks me out. I guess in the next few weeks I should start to feel the baby start move. Small at first then over a month I will really feel the baby. OK that absolutely freaks me out. Its alienish to me. NO matter how many people tell me I will love it I relly really don't think I will. Especially when I get farther along and its really moving. It makes feel as if I don't have control over my body. I just want it to sit in there and chill for 5 1/2 months more and not move where I can feel it. I know its impossible especially how much I saw my little gummy bear moving around and jumping on the screen.

I am throwing a Halloween party on Thursday for my daycare kiddos complete with pony rides, petting zoo, bounce house, face painting and food. So I will be a little busy for the next week.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

It's our Anniversary

I can't believe its only our two year anniversary. I feel like it should be our 5 yr. I have had such a great time in my marriage that I couldn't imagine my life any other way. I feel like a team with Ryan we both equally share in the relationship and enjoy doing things to make the other happy. Its been 4 and 1/2 yrs of great memories and so many goals to conquer that we have set up for us.

I have school tonight so we werent going to be able to do something but I have decided that I can just skip tonight and turn my work in tomorrow. I have been so overwhelmed with school. My life has been about homework, homework and homework. Taking 9 units and doing the studying and homework has got the best of me. I had no clue that the baby would take so much energy from me. I yawn all day and can't wait to crawl in bed each night. Only two weeks left till I am in my second trimester when my energy level is supposed to pick back up.

On the other note I had a meltdown last Saturday and completely started sobbing. I have wanted to have my own baby forever and would do anything for Ryan and I to achieve that. Now that we are pregnant I am panicked about labor. I keep talking myself into changing my mind I cant get through this, this is reality and I know its painful. I keep telling Ryan theres no way your going to get me through this I am going to panic. Everyone is so excited for us and keeps telling us we deserve this so bad. I think I am the only one to not be happy about it because I have to go through all the pain and nobody else has to feel it.

I really hope we can take some classes and get me over this fear. When I say fear I mean it enormous, its massive fear of childbirth just something I dont want to do period. Due to my situation I am going to have to go through it but holy crap HOW? I am looking into hypno-birthing classes and definetly getting a labor coach, doula or midwife. Some poor person who will be able to be in control. I think thats where the fear comes in. I like to be in controlof my body I dont like medications, drugs or alcohol because you loose control of the way you feel. I know dealing with labor I am going to loose my mind with the pain. I am getting pain meds I want an epiduralbut I am scared of it. I will getting one of course just Wow this just so real now.
I will write another post about another overwhelming fear I am having with this pregnancy. This week the baby is the size of large lime about fully developed with all its parts. My next ultrasound wont be till I am around 18-20 weeks. I can't wait that long so I found a ultrasound place that will give me an hour long ultrasound for $65 bucks I am going to wait till I am around 16 weeks. I will do gender identification around that time. I just want to know what I am having so I can name this baby.
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