Sunday, March 22, 2009

Yes I have to talk about it .... Circumcision

**Update** OK I have enough opinions from many living in the UK or overseas that are for not circumcising. As I do appreciate the input and websites. I do know I usually only get 40 views a week on my blog, in the last 24 hours I have gotten over 450 views on just the circumsicion post. What I dont appreciate is that my Blog must have been posted on somesort of message board without my permission giving all of you the same opinion since I assume are all from the same non-circumcising board. Cultural practices are different for each country even varies from each city. I do not appreciate some of the rude comments or the curse words left in my comments and if anything it makes me completely feel biased against the way you feel. I TOTALLY do not appreciate ANYONE who chose to bash my husband or tell me he is wrong to feel that way or you telling me how he feels. That is wrong. We will raise our son the way we choose to do either circumicised or intact. It is our decision.

Ok last week at my birthing class we talked about it and watched a video. I am mortified about how they do it. I cant do it to my son, it makes me panic thinking about causing him pain like that.

Now the debate in my house is my husband wants it done 100%. He says a son should match his Dad but doesn't have much other then that idea. I had to argue with that because I asked him if him and his dad ever compared their penis at any point in his life. =) NO of course they haven't it that is not a good enough reason to me.

I asked my mother what she thought on the subject and she tells me you have to do it because he'll get an infection. I then asked her in 30 years of being a nurse has she seen or heard of any child or man having an infection from being uncircumcised. Her answer was NO.

I just cant do it. I cant have his arms and legs strapped down while they use 3 clamp tools to pull the skin up and use an exacto knife blade to cut away at him all while he screams his head off with no pain reliever and then give him stiches and send him home.

My husband argues that he doesn't remember it and he turned out fine. He is also not a child development major like me and know about the infants brain. Infants from birth and possible even before birth develop Somatic memory to events that frighten, scare or cause phsycological harm to them. They do remember it even if they cant recall why they are scared or have a feeling about a certain situation.

The only reason circumcision was first done was to prevent masturbation and it decreases stimulation during sex. Of course we know it does not decrease men from doing this so I say if my son chooses at any time in his life to become circumcised I will go with him where he can be put under anesthesia and have it done because it is his choice but I am not going to mutilate him just because its a cultural thing to do.

Until 1985 the medical field did not think Infants could feel pain but as they studied the stress/pain hormone in Infants did they discover that they could feel it. So why are we still preforming this procedure without local anesthetic or pain relievers.

I don't think any different to someone who has circumcised or someone who hasn't circumcised their child. It think its a personal choice your family has to make and what you choose is your best choice. We still don't have a decision in our home what is best, since we are opposites on it. I keep saying I wish I was having a girl then I wouldn't have to make this choice. Then theres all the questions I have can I be with my son while its done, can he have a pacifier to help sooth him during the procedure. In fact I know for sure I wont be there I will make my husband do it if we end up choosing to do it. But right now I cant even stomach the idea its horrible. If you don't believe me go to http://www.youtube.com/ and type in Circumcision and watch exactly what happens during the procedure =(Check Spelling

If you would like to leave a comment please do even if its anonymous I know we all have differences in opinions but this is just such a major decision right now.

54 comments:

  1. I must say that I see your point and it is definitely hard to do, but at the end... I ended up going with the circumcision. The crying was definitely hard to hear, but he was fine after he got back in his Mommy's arms. I was just afraid of the possibility of infection so we went ahead and went with it. It was healed pretty nicely within 2-3 days.

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  2. My two sons, ages 11 and 7 are not circumcised, and I would never have dreamed of having part of their body cut off at birth. When they learned that some boys look different, they asked about it and I tried to explain as gently as possible. Both boys said right off "But mommy, that would hurt! I'm glad you didn't do that to me." I ultimately decided that if they really wanted to be circumcised later on, they could choose it. But if I had them circumcised and they later wished different, they could never change that decision. Many of their friends aren't circumcised either.
    Why put your son through a surgery, and all the risks related to surgery like increased MRSA risk and penile damage, when the surgery isn't necessary?

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  3. Hi Mrs. Dorn,

    I'm so sorry your husband is taking this view. I was in the exact same situation with my former fiance two years ago. We weren't pregnant, but we fought over the issue just the same. Let me first tell you: DO NOT give in. You have a responsibility to protect your child. Your husband will eventually get over it, but your son's body will be changed forever.

    Your son CANNOT be circumcised without your consent. You do not OWE it to your husband to let him decide, just because he has a penis. You are the one with intact genitals, so that gives you the right to make the decision :).

    I know it's upsetting when your partner is completely opposed to you. But don't back down. You are not just trying to be difficult or have your way. You are speaking out and standing up for your son's welfare, which he cannot do for himself yet. Let me repeat: your husband WILL get over this. Cutting a non-consenting individual's body for no medical reason is a human rights violation and is abuse. If it were a little girl's labia, or any other part of the body, you would go to jail.

    There is a great video by Dr. Dean Eddell on circumcision: why it is harmful and should not be done.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AHVvB1oHAgg

    There is also a Penn and Teller's Bullshit episode in Season 3, if you have Netflix. This is a good one to show men.

    There are also numerous websites in support of leaving boys intact
    nocirc.org
    doctorsopposingcircumcision.org
    jewsagainstcircumcision.org
    catholicsagainstcircumcision.org
    noharmm.org
    mgmbill.org
    icgi.org

    and lastly, since I was in your exact same position, you are welcome to email me anytime. I am also a doula in training, so I keep up to date on all things baby :).

    Best of luck to you. Hold your ground. I know your husband will ultimately accept it and respect you for protecting your son.

    warren_caroline@hotmail.com
    crwarren@uncg.edu

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  4. My brother chose to get circumcised at age 15. My mom opted not to do it when he was an infant. My brother later felt "different" from the other boys and did not like answering questions about why he was different. It was difficult for him.

    I chose to circumcise my little one. They used a topical numbing agent that helped. And he slept right through it, as hard as that is to believe. But he was probably just overly tired from a difficult labor. Also, there were no stitches. Visit with your physician about how they do it at your hospital. You might find that it isn't quite as bad as you've imagined. OR, you may find out that it is. But no harm in asking.

    You are definitely NORMAL for having these concerns. I had them as well! Either route you go, it will be the right choice for your little one!!

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  5. We left both of our boys intact and have had no problems. Like you pointed out fathers and sons do not compare so there has never been any questions about the differences.
    I was cut as a baby and regret it as I should have been the one to make the decision.

    It may be a difficult time for you and you husband but don't give in as it should be the child's choice - after all it is his body.

    Below is a website we ran across while doing our research.
    http://www.ksnocirc.org

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  6. Remember, you do not have to turn your husband into an intactivist. He just has to accept that his son will have a foreskin. If he pulls the "I have a penis, I'll decide" you reply with "you do not have a foreskin so you will NOT decide." Start telling your doctors that there will be no circ, write it in all your papers, tell all the nurses. Your husband will get over it.

    The only reason your son will EVER have to get circumcised is if the following happen: malignancy, gangrene, frostbite or extreme trauma. Never, ever retract the foreskin. As far as infection, intact boys do have a slightly higher risk, but the risk is still considerably lower than a baby girl's, and we don't go around operating on them!

    Remember, never consent and tell every medical professional you see that there will be no circumcision, and there is nothing your husband can do.

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  7. Hi Mariah! I had both my boys circumsized. With Ashton I questioned it just as you are, but I have a brother-in-law who was not circumsized who did get it done as an adult and said it should have been done when he was an infant, he was angry with his parents for putting him through that as an adult with a memory. Also he had a son and had him circumsized, so I considered him a good source of information. My sister-in-law is a nurse also and she sees cases a lot of kids and men who do not clean it properly and even if it does not get infected it gets incredibally dirty. And you might be able to clean it for him for awhile but not when he is 12 or 13 or 16, and then it can get filthy, sweaty, smelly, and it's so much easier not to have to deal with.

    For Ashton we had to bring him back to the Dr. and my mom went in with him because I could not do it - she said he did not even cry. They put numbing agent on it, they did not strap him down to any table they had nurses who were there to hold him hands away, and they gave him sugar water to suck on when it was done and he did not even cry. Not even when they did it. He came back to me, had no look of fear or anything. I thought he would be devastated and want to nurse right away but he wasn't even interested in that. He was perfectly fine.

    It is such a personal choice I wouldn't pay much attention to the woman who keeps telling you not to listen to your husband and he will get over it. He is as much the parent too with as much a voice and choice as you, and if you disregard his opinion that is just not right. I don't agree that that is a very good way to begin your parenting relationship. I applaud you for understanding that and trying to get information. Ryan loves Landon as much as you do and would never want to cause him pain or harm. It is not genital mutilation as in what they do to girls, that is done so that they cannot ever reach a climax or enjoy intercourse.

    Good luck to you!

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  8. Oh really? Were you aware that there are multiple forms of female genital mutilation? Including things that are much less invasive than circumcision like poking the clitoris with a needle to draw a drop of blood, or cutting off a small part of the labia. Yet those, while far less damaging than male circumcision, are illegal. Go figure.

    As far as dirty, filthy penises, all you do is wipe the penis like a finger, never retracting. When he's most likely a pre-teen, it will retract and HE can clean it. Infections are CAUSED by overcleaning. As a teen, if he swishes some water under the foreskin every other day or so, he'll be fine. Scarring, infections and other problems are caused by forcible retraction

    I'll direct you to C.A.C, below. I suggest posting there.

    http://www.mothering.com/discussions/forumdisplay.php?f=44

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  9. I never meant to imply that the husband or his feelings didn't matter. I'm sure he loves you and your son, and wants the best for all of you. Which is EXACTLY why, you need to stand your ground in this situation. He has been affected by circumcision, and like many men, thinks it's normal. Many, many circumcised men feel very strongly that their son "look like them", but this is NOT a valid reason to cut off a part of your child's body.

    If being intact were so dangerous, the American Academy of Pediatrics would recommend routine circumcision of all boys. They do not. Urinary tract infections are much more common in girls than boys, and even if one does occur, it can be treated with about $30 worth of antibiotics. It is not a big deal.

    No medical organization in the world recommends routine infant circumcision, and many recommend against it for the human rights reasons I've mentioned.

    Canadian Paediatric Society
    http://www.cps.ca/english/statements/fn/fn96-01.htm
    "Recommendation: Circumcision of newborns should not be routinely performed."

    http://www.caringforkids.cps.ca/pregnancy&babies/circumcision.htm
    "Circumcision is a 'non-therapeutic' procedure, which means it is not medically necessary."
    "After reviewing the scientific evidence for and against circumcision, the CPS does not recommend routine circumcision for newborn boys. Many paediatricians no longer perform circumcisions."

    Royal Australasian College of Physicians
    http://www.racp.edu.au/download.cfm?DownloadFile=A453CFA1-2A57-5487-DF36DF59A1BAF527
    "After extensive review of the literature the Royal Australasian College of Physicians reaffirms that there is no medical indication for routine neonatal circumcision."
    (those last nine words are in bold on their website, and almost all the men responsible for this statement will be circumcised themselves, as the male circumcision rate in Australia in 1950 was about 90%. "Routine" circumcision is now *banned* in public hospitals in Australia in all states except one.)

    British Medical Association
    http://www.bma.org.uk/ap.nsf/Content/malecircumcision2006?OpenDocument&Highlight=2,circumcision#Circumcisionformedicalpurposes
    "to circumcise for therapeutic reasons where medical research has shown other techniques to be at least as effective and less invasive would be unethical and inappropriate."

    National Health Service (UK)
    http://www.nhsdirect.nhs.uk/articles/article.aspx?articleId=649
    "Many people have strong views about whether circumcision should be carried out or not. It is not routinely performed in the UK because there is no clear clinical evidence to suggest it has any medical benefit."

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  10. Hi there,
    You need to stand your ground on this issue. The foreskin is THE most sensitive part of the penis, containing about 70% of the nerves. Your husband has to realize that whether or not he believes his son should be circumcised, it's his duty to protect his son from bodily harm, including unnecessary, traumatic, amputative surgery. The foreskin has value, as you already know. This is a great article dealing with the vulnerability of circumcised men when it comes to this issue: http://www.stopcirc.com/vincent/vulnerability_of_men.html
    Circumcised men don't actually care about whether the son looks like him--it is primarily projection--his own fear at not looking like his son, because he then has to realize he's missing something (50% of the skin of his penis!). Psychologist Ronald Goldman wrote about this as well--there are some articles at the bottom of this page: http://www.coloradonocirc.org/pamphlets.php
    Please don't give in to your husband...he's in a tough situation, too, having to face what was done to him. Please don't give in to the parents here who circ'd their sons and now are justifying themselves. This is a barbaric and useless practice which destroys a boy's birthright to his FULL sexual pleasure and full bodily integrity. Please, please protect your son. That's all I'll say here, but please, for his sake, and the sake of his future partners. If infections DO occur, simply refer to the Colorado NOCIRC website I linked to here. There are simple solutions which do not involve surgery. We don't operate for a common eye infection, or ear infection, or yeast infection. This madness must end. Please help it end.

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  11. There is no pediatric or medical association that recommends routine circumcision for boys. Your husband should know that most of the world's finest soccer players are intact. David Beckham, Pele, Ronaldinho, Robinho, Maradona, Gary Lineker, Igor Biscan, Cristian Ronaldo, for example are intact and probably about 95% of premier league players are intact. Circumcision is unheard of in Europe. Now in locker rooms the cut (circumcised) boy is the anomaly. I have 3 intact sons who've never had problems, they are now 25, 22 and 11 years old and the older two had athletic scholarships and played varsity level soccer at universities. The foreskin is NOT a birth defect! Tell your husband to wait a year and see if he loves his son just as much as if he had been cut on. You need to be strong Mama, your baby needs you to speak up for him. See http://circumstitions.com

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  12. I have to give you lots of hugs as I can relate so much since I was in the same situation just about a year ago. I am a mother of 2 girls and now a baby boy. My husband is circ'ed. He wanted his son to be circ'ed as well. Of course I wanted to do it too because that is what everybody do and it happened to my husband and friends. Sure. When I found out I was pregnant with a boy I thought about this and I was so sure I was going to do it. Well, it looked that I decided to research a bit more because what I remember (in my country) people used to do it for religious reasons (Jewish) so I asked myself why I wanted to do a religious ritual on my son since I am NOT Jewish. Well I found out that actually cutting healthy flesh from any person, doesn't matter how much skin you cut, it is in fact mutilation. I told my husband that I was NO way cutting my baby boy and I was going to be mama bear to protect my son from unnecessary cutting. Why people in the US claim that it is healthier or prevent infections and the male of my family are intact and til the date are fine with no problems whatsoever? I decided to leave my son intact and if he wants to do cosmetic surgery on his penis I would support him, but I doubt he will want to cut the most sensitive part of his genitals just to pleased others.

    Please show him this video regarding the Circ Decision featuring Dr. Dean Edell. http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5395565256830319025 It talks about the functions of the foreskin, the procedure how it is done and human rights. BTW one of my daughters doesn't look like me, there is no way I would make her look like me with cosmetic surgery, it just wrong.

    Check out also this short and interesting video about a celebrity mom talking about circumcision: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gbo3a9ubaz4

    If you have any questions regarding how I convince my husband to do more research just contact me, I will be glad to help out.

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  13. Ya know, it's amazing to see someone talking about how badly circumcision really harms a baby boy. It's no cleaner to have the little guy cut, nor is it easier to take care of nor is there any real medical indication for it.

    I applaud you for educating yourself on this issue. It truly is a disgusting practice and we definitely are out of touch with the rest of the world. MOST people don't realize that over 80% of men worldwide are NOT circumcised and they have no more penis problems than the 55% circumcised United States. Doesn't that tell you something?

    Circumcision (whether male, female, or intersexed) IS mutilation and the outrage needs to stop. It pisses me off quite frankly, and it pisses me off that it happened to me. I restored my own foreskin and got some of my sensitivity back but it will NEVER be the same.

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  14. I thought I would share my opinion, as I am an owner of the body part in question - thats right, I have a foreskin! haha. Perhaps the thing I find most upsetting about the arguments people make for circumcision is that they don't seem to acknowledge that the foreskin is a HIGHLY sensitive part of a man's genitals.

    I would literally weep to wake up tomorrow morning without it - even without the pain and hassle of actually dealing with the procedure. I am sure some people can sympathize with that viewpoint, if you consider losing some healthy, sensitive parts of your genitals.

    And that is exactly what a foreskin is, a healthy, sensitive body part.

    Now, being as un-blaming as possible, I feel like saying "HOW DARE you take that away from people before they can decide!" I realize there is a lot of information about possible health benefits, and a lot of scare-tactics about caring for a body part no one has ever even seen before - "oh no! a foreskin! I hear those things are impossible to keep clean! and they give you AIDS to boot!" Its really quite absurd. I know how to bathe, and Its no harder to clean than any other body part. Pulling back a foreskin is the most pleasurable part of cleaning oneself! How hard is it to convince a child to play with his penis in the shower!

    So, should it be you or your husband's choice, whether or not to have your son circumcised? NEITHER. It is neither of your body parts! It is your sons... and I am willing to bet good money that as long as you teach him proper care of himself, and to be confident in himself, he will never EVER consider having it removed.

    Don't give in. Please.

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  15. If a son should match his dad, then how did this bizarre practise ever start in the first place? Everyone used to be intact unless they were Jewish or Muslim, until 19th century doctors thought that :
    a) masturbation caused various physical and mental problems (including epilepsy, convulsions, paralysis, tuberculosis etc), and
    b) circumcision stopped masturbation.

    Both of those sound ridiculous today I know, but if you don't believe me, then check out this link:
    A Short History of Circumcision in North America In the Physicians' Own Words

    At some point intact fathers must have started allowing their sons to be circumcised, and not "matching" never seemed to be a problem then. It's not a problem now. I only ever saw my father's once, and I'm not 100% sure if he was circumcised or not. I was struck by how much bigger it was though (it seemed huge at the time), and by the fact that there was hair there.

    It just seems like your husband wants your son circumcised not your son's sake, but to feel better himself.

    Only in in 140 UK males ever gets circumcised for a medical reason, and it's getting rarer. That means that you'd have to circumcise 139 babies to prevent one circumcision later in life. Circumcising later isn't a problem though - it's safer, less painful, and the results are cosmetically better.

    Right after birth is the worst possible time to circumcise. The record payout for a botched circumcision is $22.8 million. It was said at the time that the victim "will never be able to function sexually as a normal male and will require extensive reconstructive surgery and psychological counseling as well as lifelong urological care and treatment by infectious disease specialists."
    Sure, cases like that are very rare, but why should they happen at all? If you look up the galleries of botched jobs, one thing that may surprise you is just how many jobs were botched cosmetically, rather than medically. Skin tags and skin bridges and hair growing half way up the shaft are not normal, but would not be counted as medical complications.

    If my son wants to be circumcised when he's 18 (16 if he knows what he's doing), I'll pay for it, and help him find the best surgeon. Until then, no-one is cutting part of his penis off. His body - his decision.

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  16. Drops in male circumcision:
    USA: from 90% to 57%
    Canada: from 47% to 9.2%
    UK: from 35% to about 5% (less than 1% among non-Muslims)
    Australia: 90% to 12.6% ("routine" circumcision has recently been *banned* in public hospitals in all states except one, so the rate will now be a lot lower)
    New Zealand: 95% to below 3% (mostly Samoans and Tongans)
    South America and Europe: never above 5%

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  17. I too am the mother of a (college aged) son who is intact, and whose husband was not left intact as he should have been. I wish my husband had been protected from circumcision, but circumcision was routine when he was born. His father was intact. Please protect your son. He does not have to look like (lack like?) his father.

    If your son has a different hair color from your husband, will your husband want the baby's hair dyed to match him? I see that you live in California, where over 70% of baby boys are left intact. Your son would be in the majority amongst his peers if left intact.

    My grandson is 3 months old and my daughter's husband also wanted the baby circumcised to match him. I'm so proud of my daughter for standing her ground and protecting my grandson. She did what was best for the baby, and my son-in-law got over it. He loves his son. They will have plenty of ways to bond as father and son. Same with my other daughter. Her husband at first thought their son should "match" him, but he got over it and he loves his son very much. They play baseball together, ride bikes together, wrestle, work together doing yardwork, etc. Those are the important ways to love a son, not cutting his genitals! Any father who insists on cutting his son's genitals might benefit from counseling. Two wrong circumcisions do not make a human right!

    I highly recommend this page developed for expectant parents - http://www.icgi.org/birth_care_providers.htm

    I especially recommend the articles there under "Function of the Foreskin" and "Complications." If you won't protect your son, then who will?

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  18. A possible solution:

    Since your husband wants his son to look like him, and your son will be born natural and intact, your husband could choose to undergo non-surgical foreskin restoration. This would benefit all of you - you as a married couple and your son who would be allowed keep all of his healthy, functional body parts. Your husband can learn more about foreskin restoration by reading the book "The Joy of Uncircumcising!: Exploring Circumcision : History, Myths, Psychology, Restoration, Sexual Pleasure, and Human Rights" by Jim Bigelow and by also visiting http://www.norm.org/

    This non-violent solution would allow your son to look like his restored father, and it would be a win-win-win situation for all of you.

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  19. Dear Dorns,

    I am a UK resident and have been disturbed for some time now by the obsession of many American citizens with cutting bits off their baby boys' penises.

    It's a very rare thing over here and I have never met a man who has problems cleaning himself in the shower every day-ish, it takes a whole 10 seconds! And I know they would NEVER let anyone near their precious member with any kind of cutting implement unless the alternative were death (which is almost never the case with circumcisions!).

    A lot of people are saying 'oh it's such a personal choice' - well, to be honest, I consider personal choices should be made by the person whom the choice affects. In this case, the person whose body is being altered forever. Whose potential sexual experiences in life are being permanently reduced in intensity. No, he'll never have anything to compare to, but does that justify it? I don't think so, and many men circumcised as adults for NON-medical reasons WITH prior sexual experience will attest to the fact that sensation is very much reduced.

    Most (and I might even be correct in saying all) mammals have internal male genitals, retracted within a sheath except for when they're being used. Humans have external genitalia and the foreskin is part of the protective sheath. When it is removed, the natural cleaning flora (also present in the vagina) are impaired from doing their job (the 'cleaner' argument is rubbish) and the head of the penis is exposed. The glans is kept moist by the foreskin but if it is removed then the glans dries out and is in constant contact with air, microbes and clothes - rubbing causes callouses; hard, dry, unfeeling skin.

    The nerve endings in the glans are different from those in the foreskin; they are pressure-sensitive instead of simply contact-sensitive, and generally convey less feeling. Women with experience of both intact and cut men say that circumcised men often have a harsh, drawn-out thrusting technique that is not as pleasurable. The foreskin facilitates sliding of the shaft and prevents removal of vaginal lubrication. Altogether, it's an integral part of sex and taking it away from a child without their permission is not only a crime against him but his potential girlfriends also!!

    Joking aside, I seriously believe a decision such as this should be up to him. Someone said "it's so much easier not to have to deal with."
    and I find this attitude disgusting. Parenthood is hard, bringing up kids is hard. There are a lot of things we'd rather not deal with. I used to get headlice from the manky kids in my school but my mum never shaved all my hair off (and it would've grown back at least if she did). We don't remove fingernails or the armpits' sweatglands or anything; a lot of parts of our bodies get dirty. We all, in the Western world, have access to water and cleaning products. Surgery is not the answer to something that's a bit inconvenient for people. Plus, any infections are easily treatable with hygienic practices and anti-biotics. It's like cutting your nose off because of a cold.

    If he decides to have it done when he's 18, you can support him in that; just like a tattoo or piercings (and at least piercings heal if you get bored of them).

    People say it's not mutilation; well it is, it's the permanent removal/damage of healthy tissue. He'll never be able to regain what is taken away, as other men have said right here - restoration is amazing but it'll never be what it would have been naturally.
    Or that it's not as bad as FGM - well there are a lot of types of FGM. It's often done to baby girls in hospitals. Is that ok? No. Also a lot of young men are cut outside of hospitals. Genital mutilation is genital mutilation, let's call a spade a spade. It's unnecessary and dangerous.

    Kids are mean. I'm sure most of us have been teased for something in our lives. If idiots want to laugh at your son because his body is natural well that's just jealous stupidity on their part. He will get over it, just like all of us get over whatever we're teased for. People always bullied me for being clever when I was young - well, now I've got a decent career, in their faces! A friend of mine was hassled because she started her period quite early. I doubt her parents ever considered stopping it just so she wouldn't have to deal with it. Natural is nothing to be ashamed of.

    Your son will thank you for being a sensible, intelligent person and protecting his rights. No amount of locker room rubbish can change that.
    Plus if he weren't in the US he wouldn't be looked at strangely for it at all anyway!!

    Hopefully your husband can read through the accounts and links provided here and see that your gut feeling to protect your son from this senseless cultural practice is entirely justifiable and you will come to the right decision as a family, happily, and save your son the trauma.
    Imagine having an open genital wound inside your nappy; urine and faeces are not meant to mix with healing wounds. However 'well' it's done, even if he 'slept through it' (which I find very hard to believe, there is a lot of evidence suggesting that children actually just pass out from the pain anyway), it is a damage done that can never be reversed.

    Best of luck in parenthood.

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  20. As the cut father of an intact 15yo son, I have faced this dilemma, and found it to be no dilemma at all. It is a purely artificial issue. Do we amputate any other tissue from a healthy baby? Many body parts have a MUCH greater potential for infection, cancer and malfunction. Why don't we remove them as a preventative measure? Girls get far more UTIs, create more smegma and have FOUR TIMES the genital cancers men do. Why isn't hoodectomy and labiaplasty a standard prophylaxis? The answer is, it's wrong. It's inhumane and runs contrary to everything we know about human rights and medical ethics.

    Of course actually HAVING tissue puts one at a greater chance of having a problem with it. Welcome to Being Human 101. But fewer than 1% of intact men will EVER have a problem requiring surgery of the foreskin, as opposed to much higher complication rates for infant circ. By protecting your son's most basic right to bodily integrity and autonomy, you also give him the advantage of superior pain management and cosmetic results IF he ever chooses to have it done as an adult.

    For me, even though I'd been cut as an infant, there was only one choice to make: take my WHOLE son home from the hospital.

    I hope you will look at some of the links others have provided for you, and I hope your husband understands that it's his responsibility (like yours) to PROTECT his son from this cruel and unnecessary amputative surgery. He may have to face some of his own demons (including the fact that he's missing half the skin system and two-thirds of the sensory system of his penis - that's never something a man wants to face). But protecting his son's right to the body he was born with offers a much closer father-son bond than an archaic blood sacrifice does.

    I will also offer another recommendation for foreskin restoration - I've been at it for several months, and the improvements have been amazing for myself and my partner.

    Best of luck, and congratulations!

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  21. I'm the mom of two sons, age 21 and 10, both intact. When I was pregnant with our first son, my nurse-midwife was from the UK. She said, "Don't circumcise your son. It's barbaric! We don't circumcise in the UK, and our boys are fine." We listened to her and left him intact. He never had an infection or any other problems. I was a little worried that he would be teased about being "different," but it was never an issue. Our younger son came into our family through adoption. He was born in Mississippi, where Medicaid does not cover circumcision. I was happy when I found out that he was intact. He, too, has never had any problems. At age 10 his foreskin is not yet retractable (as far as I know!), but don't let anyone tell you that a boy's foreskin "MUST" be retractable by a certain age. Most boys have retractable foreskins by the time they are teenagers. The first person to retract should be the boy himself, not a parent or a doctor.

    My sister chose to circumcise her son, and my older son was appalled. We talked about it (he was 12 or 13 at the time), and my son said, "Thank you for not circumcising me!" and gave me a big hug. To me, that said it all. His body, his rights.

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  22. His body,his choice.
    Cicumcision started 100 years ago in USA to stop boys from masturbating.
    So...100 years boys have been cut in USA - meanwhile rest of the world's boys continue to live their lives intact and problem free.
    I cried my eyes out when I lived a year in USA and realised what was done to boys there(I live in Scandinavia).
    USA is the only country in the world that does nonreligious routine infant circumcision.
    Yet USA is number one when it comes to STD&HIV stats
    Circumcision does not protect from cancer - even America's cancer society says this.

    Foreskin is the most sensitive part of man's body, it has important role in hygiene, intercourse and protecting the sensitive glans.
    We women have foreskin too - much smaller though. Clitoral hood.
    One can only imagine what would happen to sensitivity of our glans(clitoris)if the protecting hood had been removed at birth....

    USA circumcision rate is at the moment pretty much 50/50, thanks to internet and the rising awareness what circumcision really means to men. also, men are talking about the hrm circumcision does to them more openly.

    80% of world's men are intact.

    Just something to think about.

    -tuplis

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  23. I would definately advise you Against Male Genital Mutilation, the baby is helpless and has no say in the matter. what if he hates you for it later in life?

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  24. I would definitely NOT ALLOW the mutilation of my baby boy if I were you....the hospital absolutely NOT perform the circ if YOU don't consent. You are right, it IS barbaric, and wrong for so many reasons...most of which have already been stated here by other people, so I will not re-iterate. I can tell you that my 2.5 year old son is NOT circ'ed. My mother did not circ my brother (27 years old), and my grandfather (92 years old)is also not circed. My son's father(43 years old) is also not circed...he is European and they don't believe in performing non-medically necessary mutilation on non-consenting infant boys. The reason I have included their ages is because all these men in all these different age categories and NONE of them have had even one problem with being intact....in fact I CAN tell you that my son's father was much better for it...if you know what I mean!!!
    Not only do I feel it to be mutilation, but it is a VIOLATION of HUMAN RIGHTS. That baby boy did NOT consent to it....that goes against the "informed consent" law. I will never understand why this continues to be performed routinely in this country...it's like we are living in the dark ages...
    Your son will NOT be outnumbered...more and more parents are not mutilating their son's. And More than 80% of the WORLD is NOT circumcised!!!
    Please take your WHOLE baby home....he will thank you someday!

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  25. you rock - don't give up your values because of pressure from relatives!

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  26. Oh. Dear. G-d. You wouldn't slice off your daughter's labia, so please don't slice off part of your son's penis. It's cruel and unecessary....break the cycle of madness girlfriend.

    I have an 8 year old son. No early birth trauma for him. :)
    He is a happy healthy intact boy. Infections my arse. He's been fine his entire life. Don't ignore your gut feelings. Stand up to your husband. Circ complications are very real. Many boys and men suffer from circ adhessions and skin bridges. PLEASE DON'T DO IT!!!!

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  27. After a lifetime of friction with clothing, I no longer feel pleasure in the penis, only pain. I think 29 is too young to have a non-functioning organ. Every doctor I've seen (including a urologist) told me that I don't have a problem, and that it's all just in my head. The MD on campus actually referred me to a psychologist! I've been trying to restore the foreskin the past 2 months, but I have no improvement in sensation yet. If I don't pull forward what skin I have left and tape it down the friction hurts too much. It doesn't matter what I'm wearing and every step hurts. I especially need the tape if I'm doing any sort of athletic activity. I may have accelerated the damage in high school because I was a long-distance runner.

    When we were kids my brother and I NEVER compared ourselves to our dad who's intact in the manner that everyone is afraid of. I never thought that I was different from him. Sure young boys play around in the bathtub but boys are most interested in their own penis, not others'. The locker room argument is ludicrous. Boys don't want to be caught staring. I've NEVER encountered a situation where guys stood around comparing. Now that fewer boys are being mutilated, intact men are no longer in a small minority. I've only very recently compared mine with my dad's after I started educating myself about the horror that was perpetrated upon me.

    What do I have to look forward to if I barely think about girls anymore? I notice them with my eyes but I don't feel a thing. I'm pissed off every day, and I will be pissed off the rest of my life. I hate the ridicule from the still-ignorant public and I hate that I can't get help from medical professionals (who did this to me in the first place and have no qualms about it). Why didn't my dad protect my bodily integrity the way his was? It's too late for me so the least I could do is try to save the next generation of males. Please protect your son.

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  28. I can't even read the commets because of the pro circ ones, but it made my heart soar for all if those standing up for that sweet bpoy within you that you are doing everything to bring into this world healthy and safe. You take care of your self while pregnant to protect him, he worry that delivery will be fine, why go and do such a horrific, non reversable mutilation done within days. It makes me so sick to my stomach to see that. I have two boys, born perfect, remained perfect. They have NEVER had a problem, contrary to every other mom that has had it done do there boys. His cut friends have all had issues of some kind. Most of them had to have repeat surgeries and procedures. Others had adhesions, boils, staph, 'disapearing penis', to tight and they scream when erect.... I could go on for days the iggnorance of this country, it's people, medical communites. Infection? Umm what makes more sense, allowing the foreskin to stay intact and over the sensitve glans to protect his body form the urine and feces that they sit in for the first three years or hacking away at it, makes an open flesh wound to heal in filth? If you were worried about infection on your finger would you let it sit in feces and pee to heal? NO, you would think that would infect it, because it would! If he really thinks he wants to look like him, about an ear pinning when he is days old to match his ears? If he has hair are you going to shave it to match daddy? Why is it so important that there puds match? When I was reading up on it when I was preggers with DS1 I read a story about how the dad felt the same but his wife said NO WAY. When the son was about 5 or so he was in the shower with dad and asked why it looked different. He told him that his parents thought that it had to be done but that in reality there is no reason and that he didn't want to put him though all that pain, he loved him to much. The son got upset thinking the dad was still in pain, so he explained that he didn't remember it. The son then said to his daddy, thank you for not letting the doctors hurt me daddy! That story was all it took for dh to say hell no.
    Not to mention that the WHo and AAP don't recommend it anymore.
    There have been a few times that he has played naked in the yard with older boys ( 5 or so) and they didn't even notice. One of the older kids there saw it and asked and his mom looked at me and looked blank. So I told him that that is how all boys are born and that some parent cut over half the skin off because they didn't know better at the time. He was horrified. HIs mom wasn't mad but told him that I was right, that they had no idea at the time that they had a choice.

    PLEASE protect him, please, you won't regret it.

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  29. Wow! What alot of feed back you got Mariah! I was going to leave my opinion, but it looks like you've already gotten so many!

    I have faith that you'll make the right decision when it comes your son. "A Mother know's best!" :) Seems as though alot of your commenters are anti-circ so if you have any questions about a successful circumcision (because as you know my son was circumcised) then you know where to find me!

    All in all, it'll work out! :)

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  30. A boy should look like his father? http://www.circumstitions.com/Images/looklike.gif

    He'll be teased at school?
    http://www.circumstitions.com/Different.html

    As a teenager?
    http://www.circumstitions.com/Teen.html

    Expecting?
    http://www.circumstitions.com/Itsaboy.html

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  31. Dorns you're on the right track. It's up to you to protect your son. When a father says something like, "His son should look like him" That is something he wants for himself, not his son. As you've pointed out the boy probably doesn't ever want to think about the father's penis and will never know or care. So that is just a total non-starter.

    I think you've hit many of the right points. The posters Misty and Jessica bring up a really good point but probably not what they expect. They describe some intact men who wished they were circumcised and they got what they wanted. If there are intact men who wished they were circumcised, there are circumcised men who wished they were intact. The problem is they are out of luck. There isn't anything that can be practically done about it.

    Hold firm and protect your son. There is no objective or logical reason to perform a circumcision its a decision best left to the person whom the penis is attached. If you want some more support join the Case Against Circumcision forum at Mothering. There are many parents there who were in your position and are willing to help you and answer all your questions.

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  32. my son had a billaring (i think that is what it was called) It was a little plastic ring that was place around the tip of the penis. It gradually feel off after a few weeks and there was never any tenderness or bleeding. He didnt even seem to be bothered by it when we cleaned around it. I think if you decide to do it the ring is the only way :)

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  33. I believe what April is referring to is a Plastibell. I googled "billaring" and got nothing.

    This is a step by step illustration of what happens when a Plastibell is used. Warning: do not look at this is you have a weak stomach or you'd rather just not know

    http://www.cirp.org/library/procedure/plastibell/

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  34. As a circumcised man, I encourage you to consider these two scenarios:

    Leave your son intact: He'll probably thank you later, and believe himself lucky to have good parents.

    Circumcise your son: maybe he won't mind... but there's a very real chance he'll hate your fucking guts forever. Men don't talk about this much, but the anger, nay RAGE is real. For his entire life he will be unable to fathom how you could hate him so much, that you felt it necessary to tie him to a board and torture him while carving off his genitals for the express intention of depriving him of sexual pleasure.

    You might not mind if your son is circumcised.
    Your husband might not mind if your son is circumcised.

    BUT YOUR SON MIGHT. And you can't do a damn thing about how he feels because he's an independent human being (as hard as it might be to believe while he's still a baby).

    Your son has rights; respect him and he'll return your respect. Torture and mutilate him and, well, it'll be up to him to decide how he feels about having his genitals mutilated.

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  35. The question is, WHY must it be done?

    Will your son be born sick? Has he been diagnosed with some sort of urinary tract problem from the womb? What's the crime? What's the verdict?

    Shouldn't there be a medical WARRANT of some kind? Can doctors simply make money off of mutilating healthy children? Violating their human rights?

    The answer is, NO, they CANNOT.

    The fact of the matter is, as circumcision is not medically warranted in infant children, doctors aren't even supposed to be PERFORMING IT, let alone pretending like parents can somehow make this "choice."

    How is "because he won't look like dad" or "like others" any kind of medical reason to do ANYTHING? How does it make it your "choice" to circumcise him? If your child were going to be black, would the fact that the children in his neighborhood were white be a "medical reason" to bleach his skin white?

    How exactly does "he won't look like everyone else" become a medical reason to circumcise children?

    You should trust your motherly instincts. ProTECT your son. Don't let your husband bully you into letting a doctor perform a completely needless procedure.

    The circumcision of males is a violation of human rights, just like female circumcision. It doesn't matter that one is "worse" than the other. The principle of taking a non-consenting individual and mutilating his organs against his will is exactly the same. IT'S WRONG.

    And when something is a human rights violation, it doesn't MATTER that they use anaesthetic or that they can't remember. Just ask yourself: do you think female circumcision would be justified if it were done with anaesthetic? How about if the women were done in infancy when they "couldn't recall?"

    Why would anaesthetic and age make a difference in boys, but not in girls?

    As times advance, doctors will have to pay the consequences, as boys circumcised as children turn into men who regret this rape upon their bodies.

    WHY??? Because it's medical FRAUD. A doctor can't just charge you money to perform non-medical procedures on your unwitting son.

    Circumcising infant newborns is MEDICAL FRAUD, and mark my words doctors reading this, your days are numbered.

    When your son is older, he can get circumcised if he wants. It's not your "duty" to make sure he "fits in." One way or another your son is going to be challenged. What if his nose is too big and he's made fun of for that? What if he's too short? Too tall? To fat? Too skinny? "Fitting in" is NO medical "reason" to do anything to ANYONE.

    Knowing someone who got circumcised as an adult is also no reason. What if you knew of a woman who was perfectly happy having had her labia removed? Would it make it OK to circumcise little girls?

    People who circumcised their sons, or who "know" someone who "had" to get circumcised as adults are the WORST sources of information; they're completely biased. Don't listen. There needs to be a MEDICAL reason for circumcision. Not "just because."

    Circumcision is DEFINITELY a "personal choice." So why don't you let the person who is most adequate, MAKE that choice? HE HIMSELF?

    I'm surprised it doesn't strike your husband as odd that he's never seen his father's penis. How does he know they both look the same?

    NOT a medical reason to circumcise your son. The foreskin is a healthy piece of tissue found in 4/5ths of the world's male population. If the foreskin were such a bringer of diseases, then countries like China, Japan, Denmark, the UK, Ireland etc. would all currently be suffering foreskin disease epidemics, urging the rest of the world to circumcise themselves. Are they? No, they're not. The foreskin as this tumor growing at the end of your son's penis is the figment of the imagination of pro-circumcisors. Don't believe a WORD of it.

    And one final word: If circumcision prevented AIDS, then HOW is it we managed to have an AIDS epidemic? Fact of the matter: in the 1980s, when AIDS first hit, 90% of all US men were already circumcised. Fact: The majority of the men who die of AIDS in the US? All circumcised. Don't believe the crock of lies doctors try to feed you to get you to hand over your son.

    Stand your ground. Trust your protective instincts and don't let some mutilator near your son. I wish you well. You are brave for standing up to your husband.

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  36. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  37. Here are all the techniques used along with the complications likely for each: http://tinyurl.com/5eq4cz

    For those who want to know how that 'bell' works that a previous poster spoke of it's easy enough. Pick a finger that you won't need any more and that wrap it as tight as possible with a rubber band for about a week to 10 days, make sure you won't need that finger any more.

    Why is it BTW, Americans seem to have a compulsion to sculpt their son's penis? They wouldn't put up with this if it was their daughters don't their sons deserve the same protection? This behavior is bizzar and goes against the instincts to protect children. What gets parents to that point?

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  38. Yes, we do have to TALK about it. I am the Jewish mother of 2 sons, 31 and 27 years ago I facilitated their circumcisions assuming I was doing the right thing. Had I known then, what I know now, I would have defended their sweet, innocent bodies with my life rather than allowing this atrocity to be performed on their tender little bodies.

    I was told that the foreskin is simply an "extra little flap of skin". LIE! It is replete with over 20,000 highly developed nerve endings whose sole function is pleasure reception. The foreskin constitutes nearly 1/2 of penile tissue on the adult erect penis. Its removal matters. The glans, designed to be an internal organ with a mucosal covering, dries, turns gray, keratanizes and loses sensitivity. By middle age, men usually need to resort to rapid thrusting to achieve sufficient stimulation--just as a woman is going into menopause and experiencing decreasing lubrication.

    I was also told that since babies do not remember the pain, it is inconsequential. LIE!
    Even IF that were true, does that make it O.K. to inflict massive trauma on a newborn?

    We are also told that circumcision is a medical necessity. LIE. The foreskin is not a health liability. Check out the health of European men. They have very low statistics for all of the so called "risks" of owning a foreskin.

    Even though my sons are adults now, my grief over this poorly informed decision has never abated, not for one day. I know it is hard to oppose your husband, but listen to the deep maternal voice that is speaking to you. That is what is sacred above all else: PROTECT YOUR BABY!

    Feel free to contact me if would like to discuss this further.

    Blessings to you,

    Miriam
    m3pollack@comcast.net

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  39. I just wanted to pat you on the back for protecting your baby boy! Every child regardless of age, gender, nationality, religion, culture, or race has the right to a normal, whole genitalia.

    stopthecut.com
    genitalautonomy.org
    cirp.org
    doctorsopossingcircumcision.org
    nocirc.org
    mothering.com/discussions
    circumstitions.com

    Protect your intact son from doctors and care providers who are not familiar with the development of the intact boy. Here are some important pamphlets and articles about this. Print them off and keep them on hand:

    http://www.mothering.com/articles/new_baby/circumcision/protect-uncircson.html

    http://www.cirp.org/library/normal/aap/

    http://www.doctorsopposingcircumcision.org/pdf/2008-03retractileforeskinleaflet.pdf

    http://www.nocirc.org/publish/pamphlet6.html

    http://www.nocirc.org/publish/pamphlet7.html

    Best Wishes!
    jen

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  40. Hi! You probably won't read this since you got so many posts already, but I just wanted to put in my 2 cents, for what it's worth.

    Some people don't understand why I didn't put my son through that, but *they* do not understand what is really involved with circumcision. I watched the videos and almost threw up. It sickened me that much. I then thought how can this be legal to do?? I read the book "What your doctor may not tell you about circumcision' by Dr Paul Fleiss, and the more in depth book "Circumcision: the Hidden Trauma that affects us all" by Dr Ronald Goldman.

    That particular book theorizes that the high numbers of domestic violence, rape and violence against women in the USA (higher than any other civilized country) has partially to do with male circumcision. The brain chemistry of a circumcised baby changes. Doctors won't tell you, but it changes, and the baby is more prone to pain. I always wondered in my mind why guys seemed to be such 'sissies' about pain. Now I wonder if it's because they were circ'd as a child.

    I hope that you don't let your husband talk you into doing this to your baby, because once it is over with, you can't take it back. Plus, what is the rush? Babies who are circd get the same amount of UTI's than other babies. Girls get UTI's so why not circ them too? The reason that intact babies get UTI's and infections is almost ALWAYS because ignorant doctors retract them prematurely. Please if you keep your baby whole, please do keep on guard against a doctor even going near a baby's penis! Don't even let them 'take a peek', because they will retract the baby, which is NEVER to be done. For some reason in the USA, medical people are OBSESSED with trying to prematurely retract a baby's penis. They were NOT taught about them in med school, they don't know that they are fused to the glans and retract by themselves usually around puberty.

    Please guard against that, and you probably won't have any problems. Also, a great resource is the mothering forum, they have a 'case against circ' and they tell you if you do have problems what to do. Most of the time it is non surgical too! If there are any problems, and a doctor recommends circ, run away and find another doctor.

    I hope you do what your instincts tell you to do, and keep your baby whole and intact. Good for you for not wanting to welcome your newborn into the world that way. Your son will thank you for protecting him. :)

    Here is the "Case Against Circ" by Dr Fleiss, a great read:

    http://www.mothering.com/articles/new_baby/circumcision/against-circumcision.html

    The Case against Circ Forum:

    http://www.mothering.com/discussions/forumdisplay.php?f=44

    Best of luck for you and your baby!! It's not always easy to go against what 'society' dictates, but you are not alone, and many parents are saying "NO" to circumcision when confronted with the harsh reality of it.

    The "Circ prevents HIV/AIDS is also BUNK..here is a study that shows that being intact actually protects more than being circ'd.

    http://www.circumcisionandhiv.com/files/de_Witte_2007.pdf

    Also remember to be very careful if you have a hospital birth, as I have read stories about women who didn't want their baby cir'd and the doctor did it anyway, even with a signed consent form! Try to room in with your baby, and go with them to any and all procedures. I hope you have a great birthing experience! Also, drinking red raspbery tea can shorten labor. :)

    here's the link, an interesting read.
    http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=347728

    Best of luck to you and that is great that you don't want to circ, please stick to your guns about this! Remember there is NO rush to circumcise. And, just because your husband wants your baby to 'match' is not a good reason. What if your husband was missing an arm, or an eye? Would he want your son to have his eye poked out, or his arm hacked off to 'match', too?

    For those who are for circumcision, point them to this site: http://www.circumstitions.com which will hopefully dispel the notions that circ is 'good' for anyone.

    The number of men restoring themselves speaks loads about how unhappy guys are with being circumcised. Others are in denial, or are for it because since it was done to them...the abuse is perpetuated. Please help stop the cycle of abuse. :)

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  41. Congrats on your upcoming arrival and yeah for your mama-bear instinct that tells you to protect your precious baby from harm!

    One thing that helped my husband to understand just how wrong male genital mutilation is is the sick history of circ in North America.

    Circumcision started in North America in the Puritan 1870s as a cure for masturbation. Masturbation was considered to be evil and sinful and was blamed for all sort of illnesses including blindness, paralysis and mental retardation http://www.noharmm.org/docswords.htm .
    .
    As late as the 1970's medical books were claiming that desensitizing the boy was good medicine as well as good morality. The idea of that, touted openly by medical scholarship with notable pride, was carefully tucked away when the sexual revolution permitted sexual pleasure.

    I very much recommend you watching this video together with your hisband. It is a very well done 20 min long video where MDs voice their opinions about circumcision as well as a victim of female genital mutilation compares the two.

    Circumcision Decision
    http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5395565256830319025&hl=en

    As for infections…the only reason why American intact boys get infections is because ignorant doctors try to retract their foreskin prematurely as well as giving wrong care advice to their parents (retracting and cleaning underneath is a HUGE NO-NO). The only thing you need to do is wash/wipe it as a finger and make sure no one, including ignorant doctors/nurses ever retracts it (which is very painful and can cause infections, scar tissue growth (leading to true phimosis later on) and repeated retractions may lead to permanent nerve damage.

    Have a beautiful birth!
    Yulia.

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  42. Hi,
    Sorry to hear you feel your blog was bombed. I get daily alerts from Google about circucmision-related stuff because protecting the next generation is literally my life's work. My parents chose it for me when they cut off a healthy normal part of my body.

    95% of the non-Muslim world does not circumcise. In most jurisdictions they won't cut a baby if one parent objects, but you still have to be careful. Babies have been misidentified in hospital nurseries leading to the wrong kid being cut.

    You have really done your homework, but I would just urge you to discuss with your husband calmly, and if he says something you don't have a ready answer for, say: "I think I saw something about that online. Let's talk about that one tomorrow after I can look it up again."

    There are zero rational reasons or taking a child's choice away. No national medical association on earth endorses routine circumcision. And there's pain of course.

    But all that is insignificant to me. The MAIN thing is that it's HIS body, and HIS choice.

    Whether your husband can face the truth or not, foreskin feels REALLY good.

    Lastly, the internet is archived now. He WILL know exactly what evidence was available to you. If you let his choice be taken away; what if he looks at the same evidence and can't agree? Err on the side of cutting and it's irreversible harm to him and possibly to your relationship with him. Err on the side of intactness and he can still have whatever choice he wants at anytime.

    Good Luck.

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  43. It sounds as if you already know the right decision to make. Follow your instincts as a mother and leave your son's body whole, as nature/God intended. There is no medical benefit to circumcision- no medical or pediatric association recommends routine infant circumcision! I have an 8-month old son, and I am so glad we left him intact. I bet he will be glad too when he's older :)

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  44. I am American by the way. We are all biased in one way or another. That's ok. The important thing (bias aside) is that *you* have to make an informed & loving decision for your son. It sounds like you are well on your way to doing that. Count yourself lucky. Many people who face this 'event' do it w/o good any information or feedback. You have been given advice from both sides and that puts you in a great spot to make a very intelligent decision.
    That's good news for YOU and your new baby. :)

    Peace and goodwill.

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  45. I am so sorry Mariah that you feel like you were bombarded....I also get notices from google about circ related information, as I am a pro-intactedness mother.
    It is true that it is your decision....but don't you think you should give your son the choice? It is after all his penis. In my opinion as an RNS it is not necessary to put a baby through that...without his consent. I personally know several AMERICAN men who are intact and they are thankful every day that their mom's chose to leave their penis intact!!!

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  46. Hi there.

    I just wrote an article on circumcision. In particular, I address the issue of wanting "the son to look like his father".

    www.bauhauswife.blogspot.com.

    Feel free to comment.

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  47. I'm in the USA, married with 2 sons, and we don't have any circumcised people in this house...also no infections and no negative comments in the locker room. There is no medical reason for infant circumcision, and it sounds like you don't have a religious reason, either. Best wishes for a joyful birth and a happy babymoon. Love, Karen

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  48. Hi! I just happened over from seeing you at my blog. Thanks for following!

    Congratulations on your almost here arrival! It is so exciting to welcome a new baby! Your blog is so nice and will be a great record of your memories in the years ahead. They go by fast!!!

    I'm a mom of three boys, my first two are circumcised and the third is not. I would like to encourage you not to betray your feelings in order to please your husband or to keep the peace. That is what I did and I regret it. Unless both of you want to circ then the default answer should be no. (I think of it in the same way as intercourse, both people must agree to want it for it to happen.)

    Your husband has a right to his feelings and it is natural for him to think of circ as being the right way because that is how he is. But, this is not about his body. Circ is not medically necessary for healthy infant boys.

    What I think helped for my husband with our third (when I flat out refused to allow it) was to see that it's OK to be intact. It may be too emotional for your husband to say that circ is bad or wrong, because circ is a part of his identity. Your husband does not have to agree that circ is bad or wrong, he just needs to recognize that intact is OK and healthy and a perfectly good option for your little guy.

    Best wishes, and I'd be happy to chat via phone or email if I can help in any way.

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  49. As other posters have intimated, there really is no viable reason for circumcision. The arguments to support it are mostly preferential, but are, in other cases, specious (such as the STD issue). More universal issues support the other side. I hope you can convince your husband, and that you will never have to explain to your son why he was not protected from something that has been woven into the American identity by largely insidious means. Best of luck to you, your future son, and your whole family.

    Joseph

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  50. http://www.circumstitions.com/Circ.html

    I thought this might be a helpful tool for you, if you want to convince your husband. Show him the images of what goes on in the procedure if he doesn't know, but more importantly look at the complications that can arise from circumcision. However, rare they may be, would you allow an elective surgery on a newborn knowing that there are risks of unsightly skin bridges, brain damage (see Jacob Sweet), and even death (which is more common than the medical community admits to)? Look thoroughly through these pages with your husband, and I doubt he will need any more convincing. (I don't know there's anything more convincing than seeing these serious risks.) You can also explore the rest of the site for more information about the issue. What your heart is telling you about your son is right.

    Joseph

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  51. beautiful 8 minute video on peaceful parenting:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cp8tKUQtEsk

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  52. I will say a prayer about this-~for God's wisdom and direction as you and your husband make this decision.

    I also wanted to let you know that if you do not circumcise your son as an infant and he does decide later to be circumsized, he does not have to be "put under anesthesia." Doctors can do this procedure on an older child with a local anesthetic. ~It's a thick white cream, and I cant remember the name of it.

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  53. Hi Mariah,

    I have 3 boys...one 17yo (almost 18) and 4 yo twins. OK here it goes...with my first son I did NOT circumcised then when he was about 3 yo he started having pain and it was because his skin would not pull all the way back a complication that can arise from not being circumcised. So @ 3 yo he HAD to have the procedure..it was the worst experience of my whole life. The moment he woke up from being put under he started screaming in pain. I heard the nurses saying why would anyone wait until a child was 3 yo to have this done. I did not have a choice. He had major pain for several days he would scream out in pain even when a little air would hit it. It was horrible. I swore I would not put another one of my children thru that so I did have the procedure on my twins and I will admit to see them being strapped down was upseting their cry did not get worse during the procedure. Does that make sense? The procedure did not really phase them they really did not like being held down. My older son to this day remembers the pain and he had (im sure he still does) some terrible scarring from having it done at that age. I did see where someone commented that most have the procedure done to help w/infection and that is something that does not occur frequently..that is true..but what happened to my son does not happen frequently either.... Your husband is right that they will not remember it later and has another commented they stop crying as soon as they are back in your arms ...both my boys did. Just my opinion...really the only reason I had it for the twinz was because of what had happned with my older son....either way it will all be ok...Im soooooo looking forward to seeing Landon!!

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