Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Surgery Day

Its 4am right now. I know I'm crazy right now, I should be sleeping. Ryan and I climbed into bed last night at 12:30am and I woke up at 3:30am and tossed and turned so I decided to get up. Ackkkk I am going to be so tired by this afternoon. I have butterflies in my heart and a little bit of heartburn as well. Of course since I am not allowed to have anything to eat or drink after midnight that would mean a Tums and a glass of water as well. Darn't, because I am not allowed to have it , I want it!

While I was sleeping I mean napping I had some funny dreams. My Ob Dr Cueto is a funny/jokester kinda guy (thats why I picked him) when he performs my C-Section this morning, I dreamt I played a little joke on him. When he pulls Landon out I want to say. Is she beautiful, hows my daughter? Just to mess with him. Hey! I am awake now and I still want to play that joke on him.

Seriously I wonder if I am allowed a Tums?? The acid because of my nerves is making me gag. I bet myself ten bucks I puke outside or inside the hospital before the procedure, just due to my nerves.

I had to repack Landon's Petunia Pickle Bottom Diaper bag last night because previously I had only packed a T-shirt and his coming home outfit but now that we will be there for almost four days the kid needed some more outfits. Ha!! I am probably the only mom to stuff like ten outfits, 4 socks, 2 receiving blankets, a burp cloth, 2 bibs and 2 bigger blankets in her bag. Then I packed some cloth diapers just in case I wanted to start it there vs coming home. Depends on how sore I am and how bad his first meconium diaper is. Good Grief maybe I will pretend I to sick to change that diaper and make Ryan do it and videotape that. Daddy will take a crash course fast.

Don't get me wrong I am so excited about having a baby of my own BUT my nerves are so messed up right now thinking about the procedure that I am about two seconds from finding the closest wastebasket to show you what I had for dinner last night. I'm panicked I did this before the egg retrieval, and having my wisdom teeth out too. The only difference is this is even more major surgery and I got to be put under completely for those surgeries and I also got to finish with a nap the entire rest of the day.

I keep thinking will I be a bad mom if they pull the baby out and hand him to me and I ask is this ours? He doesn't look anything like I expected. Pull the blanket off I want to see his winkee, I mean toes. Then what will they think when I say Ok I'm done with him, my husband can hold him the rest of the day I'm feeling quite sore and I need a nap. Hey what kind of things can I eat right now? Do I get a menu?

You don't think they will think any less of me if I say whats really on my mind? No thats not how I'm going to act. A real mom would never think/act like that.

Ha maybe those hormones will have me balling out of control instead and I turn into a shark and try to bite the hand off of anyone who attempts to try to touch my son. Only God knows how I will behave today. Anything less then this I will blame it on the lack of sleep.

Shoot its only 4:30am I thought getting on here would blow through the time and next thing I would here from my husband yelling at me its time to go am I getting dressed or is that what I'm wearing to the hospital. What about all the countless other times I have jumped on the Internet and spent 4 hours on here only to be running behind because it felt like only twenty minutes.

Ok maybe I'll go brush my teeth I mean suck the water out of the toothbrush to kill another half hour till hubby gets up. I betcha he gets a coffee right in front of me because he is going to be tired as hell and I'm running on pure adrenaline. Wish me luck thatI don't puke. (Well at least on anyone)

Love the totally sleep deprived, obnoxious woman who is grasping onto her last few hours being just selfish Mariah with no responsibilities. I think I am about to learn a few lessons when I meet a little man that is less then two feet tall this morning.

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5 comments:

  1. I didnt sleep a wink cause of you... I cant wait till its over and you have Landon.. We are thinking of you!!!
    See you later today or tomorrow, Ill bring Ky If I can after school.

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  2. Ok, I feel totally stupid. I left you a comment on your last baby belly pic and I had you confused with someone else. I guess you know get to see firsthand what being a mother does to ya (lol). Uh yeah, I thought you lived in Michigan. Stupid me!! Anyway, I guess Landon isn't here yet (hahaha).

    Sorry you can't have any Tums. I had a grape popsicle sometime during labor and then they decided to do a c-section and well I puked up my grape popsicle on the table. It was quite lovely (lol). Gotta love it when you are laying down, trying to puke and they have you tied down.

    I am sure you will be fine. Try not to be nervous and just enjoy it. Enjoy listening to that first cry, seeing little Landon for the very first time and enjoy that very special moment of holding him and kissing him for the first time. Ah, I remember those great moments like yesterday! Hugs to you girl.

    ~ Lisa

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  3. Looking forward to some pictures of your sweet family! Landon is our boy name too!

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  4. Can't wait to see pictures of your baby!

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  5. Just checking in on you. Hope you all are doing ok. Can't wait to see little Landon.

    Hugs,
    Lisa

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