Monday, April 13, 2009

Wheres my halo?

Here it is 2:30am in the morning and I can't sleep. Why?? you ask. I'm super, totally, ultimately stressed out. I had a great day with my in-laws family. We had a delicious dinner, yummy drinks, and hung out in the spa (at 95 degrees) It was fun and relaxing. Landon even got an Easter present from Nana, two cute frog outfits w/ matching hat, a outfit/blanket from Hawaii, and handyed quilt from Hawaii. My god daughter was dropped off at my in-laws so I could spend an overnighter with her. We left at about 8pm to come home and slide into bed since I had no nap all day.

When I arrived home I checked my email before I went to slumber land and there was an email from my new employee letting me know she was not going to be coming back to work and that I could just mail her her check. WHAT!! I specifically told her that she would need to give notice if she wanted to leave. I also talked with her last week, as well as my other employee and my husband both spoke with her to see if she liked, understood or had any questions about the job. She said no, she liked the job.

My panic is that I am not allowed to work right now. My blood pressure has been very high and last week while she worked I was able to rest and my blood pressure significantly went down into the normal range. My doctor told me if it stayed low then I would not need to be induced. I checked my blood pressure right when we got home tonight and it was 116/77 PERFECT! After reading her resignation over an email and absolutely freaking and then stressing about what to do for an hour I rechecked, 146/87 yikes. So it is true stress does cause it to go up.

What to do now. I don't understand what is going on. I place an add I get many many responses I have to go through them and interview each one, some never show for interviews, some show and I immediately cross them off the list for many reasons and then other beg to work here and they leave before they even start. It takes quite awhile to be able to hire someone. After I interview them I have them come back for a paid 3 hour working interview to see if they like it and so I can observe if they work well with children. If I like them I have them fill out lots of paperwork and send them to be finger printed for a background check. We then have to wait till there clearance comes in the mail and then they start. All of this takes time and money.

I am just 14 days away maybe even sooner of having this baby come. What am I going to do now. I laid in bed for two hours and could not fall asleep, I can feel how stressed I am. I am angry at people. All I can think is I hope she is sleeping well tonight knowing that I am so close to giving birth and she couldn't even work for a 6 week maternity leave for me. Now I am weeping this is so unfair to Landon doesn't he deserve to have his mommy to himself for the first 6 weeks of his life. After that he will have to share his home, his toys and especially his mom with lots of other children. I have not been selfish with my life I sacrificed watching other peoples children while they are on vacation, while they needed me, all holidays and I did it because that the kind of person I am. All I am asking for is 6 weeks with my son.

Please pray for my health, for Landon, and for my business. This is going to be a long stressful week and I pray that I find someone who is good with my daycare children, that I can trust in my home and works hard and isn't a goof off. Its now 3am and have to be up at 7am to work all day. I feel all this stress is going to cause Landon to come early I will be panicked the whole time I am laboring about finding an employee.

God will provide somehow!! right now I just need some sleep and sanity.

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1 comment:

  1. Bless your heart I will be praying you find the help you need soon, try and relax :)

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