My anxiety was completely gone the moment I heard them say "Baby is out" I just wanted to see what he looked like. I knew he would be healthy but watched everything they did to him from the operating table. I requested no eye goup and no shots to be done to him and They were very accommodating to my wants. I also did not want him to leave me or my husband at any point. We both wanted to start skin-to-skin right away to bond.
Once we were in the recovery room, we began to check him out and look at his precious face and watch each movement he made. His eyes stayed shut and he would occasionally try to open them but only one at at time. He tried so hard but he just couldn't do it. He was trying to suck on everything his fist, the blanket, any ones touch. I asked immediately if I could breastfeed. I was so so so excited. We weren't even sure how to do it but he looked hungry and was trying so hard to suck on his fist. I also knew the importance of starting within the first hour of birth. So we tried. Landon was unswaddled and placed on my breast he rooted for a second and latched right on. His teeny tiny head was smaller then my boob but he knew just what to do. I looked at my husband and said I'm doing it, I'm breastfeeding. This is the best part so far. That was the moment I knew he was perfect , so perfect, and he was ours.
I apologized to my husband and told him I was sorry I said that I didn't want to go ahead with the C-section that I was just scared and started having a panic attack and now that its over and done with, it wasn't even bad at all. I would do it all over again (Definitely glad its over though)I just didn't like the way I felt with the spinal block and my nerves took over and and I lost control. I thanked him for stroking my head in an attempt to calm me and being there for us. My husband let out a few tears while staring at our amazing baby and he and I both agreed that is is so surreal. Hes ours and we get to keep him.
After he ate on both sides my husband wanted to hold him again and I wanted Ice chips. Yum I was so thirsty and it tasted like a meal in itself. We asked a bunch of questions about what happens next and where we were headed from here. I was asked if I could move my toes yet. Ummm Negative! It took about an hour and I could move my knees and eventually my feet a little. At that time transportation was called and we could move upstairs to our room where we would be staying for the next four days.